Tribe.net. Local Connections bragitta http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/db81a24b-bb76-478a-9088-e2141eae40c7 2007-04-30T11:20:36Z 2007-04-30T11:20:36Z

<div>I am creating an interactive art project on my tribe page <br/>in a part of learning new social habits of isolation <br/>its an interactive art project <br/>where I make an piece of art and then post a question <br/>and the comments inspire the next piece of art and question <br/> <br/>comments greatly inspire the projects direction <br/>so please hop on over to my tribe page <br/>and see if this art project will provide anything of value to you</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 0 replies </div>

bragitta 2007-04-30T11:20:36Z Ender http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/b3fa37a1-bf4d-487b-98f4-5dfaffcacfd9 2007-03-10T21:07:01Z 2007-03-10T21:07:01Z

<div>Hi, all! <br/> <br/>My name is Ender. I thought I'd chime in and let people know that I'll be around. <br/> <br/>If you want to know a little about me, I posted a recently written bio on http://everysecondnew.pbwiki.com.</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 0 replies </div>

Ender 2007-03-10T21:07:01Z Hale http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/e25740b1-f24b-4903-bb16-6537bc60004c 2006-04-30T02:01:49Z 2005-07-06T20:07:56Z

<div>once again it seems a sleepless night is ahead, so I'm glad of cheap internet connection... <br/> <br/>Today I burst out laughing while reading a book about biological psychology ( a mate from work of mine lent it to me, I'm starting to wonder why) and there was the three basic types of insomnia: onset insomnia, maintenance insomnia and termination insomnia. And I've got them all! In various degrees but anyway, finally a category I fit! Weird things can get me laugh... I so rarely feel like I belong to anywhere so even finding a disorder I fit made me feel fine. And I don't want even to think how sick that is... <br/> <br/>So, hi to everyone, just shortly joined tribe and this group. More of me later. </div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 6 replies </div>

Hale 2005-07-06T20:07:56Z Shadow-of-the-Puppet http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/5a0562fe-f578-4d11-bf17-498b77ba570f 2006-01-07T20:58:43Z 2005-12-19T04:27:46Z

<div>Has anyone else ever reached a point in life where there are no more tears to be shed? Despite the sorrow, rage and chaos seething within like a maelstrom, you cannot cry and vent the pandemonium of emotional discord...instead, there is only laughter. Everything still hurts, gnawing at you within, but you can only seem to laugh at it all. <br/> <br/>It's a peculiar feeling.</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 1 reply </div>

Shadow-of-the-Puppet 2005-12-19T04:27:46Z Hale http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/5a61ee50-9a28-4a50-860c-aeddd706ab8d 2005-12-17T16:43:01Z 2005-08-15T18:24:58Z

<div>I've been spending some time with a friend who's currently in a psychward (serious depression, suicide attempts, well, I guess you know the pattern...) and we've talked about why killing yourself is not an option, that there are reasons to live. I had a hard time coming up with any, being on a downhill slope myself at the moment. <br/> <br/>So the question is, what is YOUR reason to live? What is the last thing that keeps you hanging in there when all else fails? <br/> <br/>For me, it is my closest friends and my family. They've been there for me for so long, we've been through so much crap, so terrible times, funerals and alcoholism, unemployment, miscarrieges, whatever... So after peeling off everything I just can't disappoint them by quitting. They rely on me to be (in the lack of a better word) strong enough to stay here. They don't expect me to be all smile and sunshine all the time, or even never, but they do expect me to be.</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 4 replies </div>

Hale 2005-08-15T18:24:58Z moksh http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/ec985c6e-254c-41a4-890e-c9d209ccd958 2005-07-02T10:45:00Z 2005-05-05T18:32:13Z

<div>so hows everyone doin??????? <br/> <br/>still feeling the same way, things getting better or worse. <br/> <br/>i am really confused. <br/> <br/>feels liek sometimes i take 2 steps in north then suddenly feel like goin east , then after a while go west. <br/> <br/>so like feel that this way life will just slip outta hands, <br/> <br/>but anyways it does. <br/> <br/>so is it worth stop moving altogether and just under the tree. <br/> <br/>but have to earn and stuff also. requires some courage i guess. </div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 7 replies </div>

moksh 2005-05-05T18:32:13Z http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/97295bd8-0a6f-44a7-829d-81a1a0b75205 2005-05-01T06:50:46Z 2005-05-01T06:50:46Z

<div>http://www.big-boys.com/articles/fword.html</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 0 replies </div>

2005-05-01T06:50:46Z http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/3a44edf3-77f0-496c-b3d4-57a6602c2e5b 2005-04-24T07:48:52Z 2005-04-24T07:48:52Z

<div>http://www.easycall.net/fun/monkey-business.shtml</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 0 replies </div>

2005-04-24T07:48:52Z Lisa http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/a2cfb948-8d77-408b-b85d-86f902474ec0 2005-04-19T22:47:14Z 2005-04-14T12:38:44Z

<div>I think so many people play the "phony" game because it's easier to just "go with the flow". Getting right with yourself is too much work for most people. But there are really only 2 choices; get right with yourself and move on or stay stuck with the "phonies" and be unhappy forever. <br/>Like with me being disabled, it is what it is. I've accepted that and have moved on. </div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 3 replies </div>

Lisa 2005-04-14T12:38:44Z moksh http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/d6fa54b9-c0ef-4380-b99e-13690483c02c 2005-04-13T22:27:10Z 2005-04-13T10:47:38Z

<div>just came across this article on sadness (by osho) and since the general mood here was of being overwhelmed thought i d post for friends. <br/> <br/>First be one with yourself. This is the first step of Unio Mystica: be one with yourself. And then the second step, and the last, is: be one with existence. The second is easy. The first has become difficult because of so much conditioning, so much education, and so many civilizing efforts. The first has become difficult. <br/> <br/>If you have taken the first step of just accepting yourself and loving yourself as you are, moment to moment.... For example, you are sad. This moment you are sad. Your whole conditioning says to you ?You should not be sad. This is bad. You should not be sad. You have to be happy.? Now the division, now the problem. <br/>. <br/>You are sad: that is the truth of this moment. <br/> <br/>And your conditioning, your mind says, ?You should not be like this, you have to be happy. Smile! What will people think of you?? <br/> <br/>Your woman may leave you if you are so sad, your friends may desert you if you are so sad, and your business will be destroyed if you remain so sad. You have to laugh, you have to smile, and you have to at least to pretend that you are happy. If you are a doctor your patients will not feel good if you are so sad. They want a doctor who is happy, jolly, healthy, and you are looking so sad. Smile ? even if you cannot bring a real smile, bring a false smile, but smile. At least pretend, act. <br/> <br/>This is the problem: you pretend, you act. You can manage to smile, but then you have become two. You have repressed the truth, you have become phony. <br/> <br/>And the phony is appreciated by the society. The phony becomes the saint, the phony becomes the great leader, and the phony becomes the mahatma. And everybody starts following the phony. The phony is your ideal. <br/> <br/>That?s why you are unable to know yourself. How can you know yourself if you don?t accept yourself? You are always repressing your being. What has to be done then? When you are sad, accept the sadness: this is you. Don?t say, ?I am sad.? Don?t say that sadness is something separate from you. Simply say, ?I am sadness. This moment, I am sadness.? <br/> <br/>Live your sadness in total authenticity. <br/> <br/>And you will be surprised that a miraculous door opens in your being. If you can live your sadness with no image of being happy, you become happy immediately, because the division disappears. There is no division any more. ?I am sadness? and there is no question of any ideal to be anything else. So there is no effort, no conflict. ?I am simply this? and there is relaxation. And in that relaxation is grace, and in that relaxation is joy. <br/> <br/>All psychological pain exists only because you are divided. Pain means division. and bliss means no-division. It will look paradoxical to you: if one is sad, accepting one?s sadness how can one become joyous? It will look paradoxical, but it is so. Try it. <br/> <br/>I am not saying try to be happy; I am not saying that, ?Accept your sadness so that you can become happy? ? I am not saying that. If that is your motivation then nothing will happen; you are still struggling. You will be watching from the corner of your eye: ?So much time has passed and I have accepted even sadness, and I am saying ?I am sadness?, and joy is still not coming. ?It will not come that way. <br/> <br/> <br/>Joy is not a goal, it is a by-product. <br/> <br/>It is a natural consequence of oneness, of unity. Just be united with this sadness, for no motivation, for no particular purpose. There is no question of any purpose. This is how you are this moment, this is your truth this moment. And next moment you may be angry: accept that too. And next moment you may be something else: accept that too. <br/> <br/>Live moment to moment, with tremendous acceptance, without creating any division, and you are on the way towards self-knowledge. Self-knowledge is not a question of reading the Upanishads and sitting silently and reciting, ?Aham Brahmasmi, I am God.? These are all foolish efforts. Either you know you are God, or you don?t know it. You can go on for your whole life repeating, ?Aham Brahmasmi, I am God.? You can waste your whole life in repeating it, but you will not know it. <br/> <br/>If you know it, there is no point in repeating it. Why are you repeating it? If you know, you know. If you don?t know, how can you know by repetition? Just see the whole stupidity of it. <br/> <br/>But that?s what is being done in this country and in other countries also, in monasteries and ashrams. What are people doing? Parrot-like repetition. <br/> <br/>I am giving you a totally different approach. It is not by repetition of the Bible or Vedas that you will become a knower, no. You will only become knowledgeable. Then how does one come to know oneself? <br/> <br/>Drop the division: the division is the whole problem. You are against yourself. Drop all ideals, which create this antagonism in you. <br/> <br/>You are the way you are: accept it with joy, with gratitude. <br/> <br/>Suddenly a harmony will be felt. The two selves in you, the ideal self and the real self, will not be there to fight any more. They will meet and merge into one. <br/> <br/>It is not really sadness that gives you pain. It is the interpretation that sadness is wrong that gives you pain, and that becomes a psychological problem. It is not anger that is painful; it is the idea that anger is wrong that creates psychological anxiety. It is the interpretation, not the fact. The fact is always liberating. <br/> <br/>Jesus says, ?Truth liberates.? And that is of tremendous import. Yes, truth liberates, but not knowing about truth. Be the truth, and it liberates. Be the truth, and there is liberation. You need not bring it, you need not wait for it: it happens instantly. <br/> <br/>How to be the truth? You are already the truth. You are just carrying false ideals; they are creating the trouble. Drop the ideals: for a few days be a natural being. Just like trees and animals and birds, accept your being as you are. And a great silence arises. How can it be otherwise? There is no interpretation: then sadness is beautiful, it has depth. <br/> <br/>Then anger too is beautiful it has life and vitality. Then sex too is beautiful, because it has creativity. <br/> <br/> <br/>When there is no interpretation, all is beautiful. <br/> <br/>When all is beautiful, you are relaxed. <br/> <br/>In that relaxation you have fallen into your own source, and that brings self-knowledge. Falling into one?s own source is what is meant by ?Know thyself.? It is not a question of knowledge, it is a question of inner transformation. <br/> <br/>And what transformation am I talking about? I am not giving you any ideal that you have to be like; I am not saying that you have to transform from what you are and become somebody else. You have simply to relax into whatsoever you are, and just see. <br/> <br/>Have you heard what I am saying? Just see the point: it is liberating. And a great harmony, a great music is heard. That music is of self-knowledge. And your life starts changing. <br/> <br/>You then have a magic key, which unlocks all the locks. <br/> <br/>If you accept sadness, sadness will disappear. How long can you be sad if you accept sadness? If you are capable of accepting sadness you will be capable of absorbing it in your being; it will become your depth. <br/> <br/> <br/>Osho: Unio Mystica, Vol. I, #3 </div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 3 replies </div>

moksh 2005-04-13T10:47:38Z Quichemarie http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/3888443b-3e59-4ad1-990f-e18eb168d9a8 2005-04-08T20:44:48Z 2005-04-05T13:11:47Z

<div>http://www.pagannews.com/cgi-bin/names1.pl</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 14 replies </div>

Quichemarie 2005-04-05T13:11:47Z Lisa http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/9d7402b4-ba8d-4e03-8230-7cc3aa7165b9 2005-04-08T06:37:16Z 2005-04-05T13:20:59Z

<div>Seems like the general feeling is overwhelmed and depressed. Is it both or are we depressed because we feel overwhelmed? Is it the weather? <br/>I fight those feelings all the time, but am doing alot better by just dealing with my life one thing at a time. I have to fight to not let too many things in to my head at one time. I get real stressed out because there doesn't seem to be any way I can accomplish all the things I "have" to do, yet still have time for the things I "want" to do. <br/>Seems like the everything is rush, rush, hurry, hurry and I hate it, but find myself getting caught up in it, a lot of the time, any way. </div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 15 replies </div>

Lisa 2005-04-05T13:20:59Z Lisa http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/23d250cd-d62c-4d65-b7fa-cbc37d006aa4 2005-04-06T05:12:02Z 2005-04-04T12:10:06Z

<div>Is everyone okay or just busy?</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 14 replies </div>

Lisa 2005-04-04T12:10:06Z http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/b754e288-4b89-4248-8546-13b5d7ff2009 2005-04-01T23:11:21Z 2005-03-29T18:56:32Z

<div>http://www.chriswetherell.com/hobbit/ <br/> <br/>My Hobbit name: Bulbo Loamsdown of Deephallow <br/>My Elfin name: Elrond Carnesîr</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 5 replies </div>

2005-03-29T18:56:32Z http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/e873867e-32d0-438c-95b8-8c1ad4a28aa6 2005-04-01T15:17:26Z 2005-04-01T15:17:26Z

<div>http://www.google.com/googlegulp/</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 0 replies </div>

2005-04-01T15:17:26Z http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/43ddd85a-f7b3-4219-ae65-3b52fc0f0947 2005-03-25T13:22:00Z 2005-03-24T08:13:34Z

<div>I have 10 preset fm radio stations, 1 through 5 and then 1-5 again for 6-10, but I have a problem with leaving the stations on 6-10, for example if I listen to channel 6 when I get to my destination it must go back to channel 1, 7to2, 8to3, 9to4, and 10to5. <br/> <br/> Is this wierd or what? anyone else do this? I have no idea why I do it I just do!</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 3 replies </div>

2005-03-24T08:13:34Z Lisa http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/5f841ba8-90d9-470a-bcea-22313b42a453 2005-03-25T13:13:14Z 2005-03-23T13:15:17Z

<div>Since we have so much other stuff in common, do people who are always late drive any of you nuts? It does me, unless they're late for a good reason. Seems like most people are always rushing and hurrying here and there, yet they are always late. It drives me insane. </div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 8 replies </div>

Lisa 2005-03-23T13:15:17Z http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/32ff9d17-c289-4dbf-94bf-c5d3b53014aa 2005-03-22T16:42:03Z 2005-03-22T16:42:03Z

<div>I have created a new tribe for the shy, introverted, and kinky among us -- without using the words "shy", "introverted", or "kinky". Please check it out! <br/> <br/>http://philly.tribe.net/tribe/5f246957-9834-4c3e-97cb-90e15a530ee4?_click_path=Application%5Btribe%5D.Tribe%5B5f246957-9834-4c3e-97cb-90e15a530ee4%5D&amp;r=10319 <br/> <br/>Membership is moderated for now to keep out known trolls and flamers. Otherwise, please feel welcome to join -- and to add some pictures to the photo album! <br/> <br/>Denise</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 0 replies </div>

2005-03-22T16:42:03Z FaeryWishes http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/900557fa-9985-4f1c-90ab-a50ff11b7880 2005-03-22T16:03:10Z 2005-03-20T06:05:26Z

<div>Do you ever feel sometimes that since you are so different from the rest of society you will end up alone? I do, I fear greatly I will never get married and have kids. I don't just want marriage because I want kids so bad I want it because I want to feel appreciated and loved. It's so hard to find men out their who actually love their girlfirends. I was in a relationship where I found out the guy was in it for the sex. We are no longer together but Now i'm afraid of guys, I don't want that to happen to me again. <br/> <br/>Jenna :(</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 11 replies </div>

FaeryWishes 2005-03-20T06:05:26Z http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/c14d59a0-ad76-407d-b4e4-9fe794183960 2005-03-21T13:15:05Z 2005-03-20T21:51:59Z

<div>http://www.louie-ville.com/kissmyass.html <br/> <br/> I thought this was funny!</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 2 replies </div>

2005-03-20T21:51:59Z FaeryWishes http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/9a86dc7c-4b5d-4ab6-9113-7a652e4f492d 2005-03-20T16:49:49Z 2005-03-18T21:03:34Z

<div>Are any of you joined up with Myspace. I'd like to add y'all as my friends. <br/> <br/>Jenna :)</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 8 replies </div>

FaeryWishes 2005-03-18T21:03:34Z Aimee http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/4ad7996c-3df3-432b-91a7-faa91bb3bd98 2005-03-20T16:47:07Z 2005-03-18T12:35:03Z

<div>Do others here dislike (even hate) shopping? Especially at malls? Especially at Christmas time? *Shiver*</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 9 replies </div>

Aimee 2005-03-18T12:35:03Z Lisa http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/201b378f-9b75-4bbf-bda4-ff2441d7c88c 2005-03-20T16:46:07Z 2005-03-17T14:04:54Z

<div>We all get old the "don't worry about what they say" or "act like you don't care". We try to do this; but you are right......it doesn't matter what you say or how you act, it hurts, clear to the bone. I've heard it all! Your parents tell you, your spouse, your good friends, etc, but they've not been there, so easier said than done. You can act like it doesn't matter all you want, but the person/persons that delivered the remarks know it hurt you or bothers you (otherwise they wouldn't do it). They are practiced at it. They are predators. I don't think it matters how thick you armor is, there's always a way inside. <br/>So, after being here for almost a half a century, I've chosen to avoid "social scenes", where I'm pretty sure the "predators" are going to be (unless it's a "have to" situation). I'm not interested in having to defend myself to a bunch of ignorant people that get their high from being cruel to those of us who don't fit in to their mold. Am I letting "them" win, maybe. But, I'd rather think of it as having a choice. I don't keep going back to a place that serves bad food because I hope the food will get better, I just go to place that has good food all the time. </div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 8 replies </div>

Lisa 2005-03-17T14:04:54Z Aimee http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/44f81c4d-5322-4358-af51-d26500c25b5f 2005-03-20T01:41:13Z 2005-03-14T18:46:17Z

<div>When I was a teenager, I actually thought maybe I was an actual alien. :)</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 18 replies </div>

Aimee 2005-03-14T18:46:17Z FaeryWishes http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/a2f6d272-60b0-45f8-a641-cda3538b12e4 2005-03-19T15:33:43Z 2005-03-18T16:59:55Z

<div>I always spell it wrong so I had to look it up lol. Hooray for Diffen Doofer Day! Ever read it? I think all of us here should have went to that school :) <br/> <br/>What's your favorite SEUSS book? <br/> <br/>Jenna :)</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 3 replies </div>

FaeryWishes 2005-03-18T16:59:55Z Lisa http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/68c5bf35-2b54-44f1-a663-5e13cf025767 2005-03-16T16:42:12Z 2005-03-13T14:55:12Z

<div>Forgot to mention, that I too get along better with kids and older people (I might be old to most of you, I'm almost 49). I'm a kid and senior magnet, but I like it that way. I think it's because they like me just the way I am and I don't have to fit into a mold for them.</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 9 replies </div>

Lisa 2005-03-13T14:55:12Z Lisa http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/58b121c1-0407-4572-aed8-72cef2977534 2005-03-16T03:40:03Z 2005-03-13T14:48:38Z

<div>New here, but this tribe sounds like it's for me. <br/>I never have figuered out what I am for sure ......loner, anti-social, etc. All I know is that I've been told all my life I'm wrong because I hate big social get togethers. I'm married (have been forever) and have two, grown kids. But I've just never been a "social butterfly". I don't have any friends I run around with and prefer it that way. I dread when summer comes around and everyone's inviting you to a picnic, a wedding, etc. Not my cup of tea, but does that make me weird or something. Even though I hate it I usually go though because the "majority" says "it's not normal" and to avoid the hurt feelings every one has if I don't want to go. And then, when I do go, my family is never happy. Usually I get real nervous and talk too much (I'm monopolizing) or if I'm quiet and just take it all in (I'm mad or sad or upset or whatever). <br/>But I'm not a Taurus, I'm a Cancer. Thanx for letting me vent. </div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 7 replies </div>

Lisa 2005-03-13T14:48:38Z AngelSwan http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/b51f78ac-1348-44ac-bb3a-72868297d693 2005-03-13T20:16:38Z 2005-03-12T02:55:44Z

<div>Yes, it's true, I am, but like anyway. My objective for starting this tribe is giving those who don't quite mold into the cookie-cutter form to have a place to go. Here we can talk about absolutely anything. <br/> <br/>Topic for the first post is: What makes you so awkward? Experiences, examples, misperceptions...etc</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 18 replies </div>

AngelSwan 2005-03-12T02:55:44Z http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net/thread/2229ff29-4ff7-494b-8ca7-c5fe41091733 2005-03-13T18:23:24Z 2005-03-12T18:27:51Z

<div>Tatyana, I took the liberty of adding a photo to the group album -- one that reminded me of The Island of Misfit Toys. (I forgot to add a caption, though. Feel free to do so if you think the picture requires clarification.) Unfortunately, I am going to have that song stuck in my head all day. <br/> <br/>(Aside: Tatyana, it appears that this Tribe will soon be taken over by Taureans! You have been warned.) <br/> <br/>I complain about not "fitting in", but I don't do a damn thing to make myself less noticeable. In the workplace, I ever so carefully push the edge of the envelope in terms of my hair (style and unnatural color), makeup, and clothing. I tell myself that I should be known by the quality of my work, not by my occasionally wearing slut heels to work. ("How can you *walk* in those?") <br/> <br/>I join social groups, where I also complain about not fitting in. At Mensa Gatherings, I dress as if I'm at GothCon or Convergence, but it would never occur to me to attend *those* events because I wouldn't be Goth *enough*. I attended a Mardi Gras party last month, where I stood out (not necessarily in a good way) for being nearly the *only* person in costume. <br/> <br/>I suppose that I make such an effort to be noticed because of my fear of being invisible, like I was in high school. I want to be known as special, unique, off-beat -- all too characteristic of the Enneagram Four. Yet all too often, I feel like I'm on the edge of the crowd looking in. <br/> <br/>In terms of relationships, my closest female friends tend to be those (dare I admit this?) about half my age. One of my closest male confidants is 24 years older than I am. As for romantic relationships in real life, I tend to attract the losers, who follow me around like puppy dogs simply because I'm too nice and polite. I prefer being alone than to being in a couple just for the sake of being in a couple. (Read "Quirkyalone" if you haven't already.) <br/> <br/>Don't even get me started on the topic of sensitivity! Oh well, too late. I confess that I am easily irritated by other people's habits, and accordingly, people refer to me as "high maintenance". (See the HSP (Highly Sensitive Persons) tribe for more information.) I can't see movies in theaters because I don't like crying in public. In fact, I don't like crying in front of *anyone*, so I save my sobs of anguish for the night. <br/> <br/>Enough for now. <br/> <br/>Denise</div> <div> posted in <a href="http://AlwaysAwkward.tribe.net">Always Awkward</a> - 2 replies </div>

2005-03-12T18:27:51Z